Due to CEO Wendelin Wiedeking’s failed effort to acquire VW, Porsche’s total 2009 loss came to an astounding €4,400,000,000, or $6,500,000,000.  The number is incredible given that Porsche was the most prosperous car company a year earlier, and that Porsche is still an independent automobile manufacturer.  (Though that will change as VW reverses the situation and takes a large stake in Porsche.)  Looking at the Panamera, we’re not holding much hope for the once-proud German nameplate–but we are loving the new Boxster Spyder.

Porsche’s chief executive officer Wendelin Wiedeking has been fired from the German car company.  Wiedeking’s departure is met with that of the company’s chief financial officer, Holge Härter.  The two men were “immediately” retired from their posts after months of falling sales and deepening debt.

Wiedeking has been with Porsche for sixteen years and orchestrated the firm’s expansion into sport-utility vehicles and sedans.  But Wiedeking’s failed attempt to seize a majority stake in VW left Porsche €9,000,000,000 in debt.  Porsche now may become a subsidiary to Volskwagen after being rejected for a state loan.

Wiedeking will leave with a €50,000,000 severance package.  Härter will receive €12,000,000.  Michael Macht, production director, will take the position as company CEO.  Macht, age forty-eight, has been with Porsche since 1990 and has overseen engineering and logistics.

Porsche execs have killed off rumors of a new sports car in the lineup.  The blogged-of fifth model was to be an entry-level roadster priced below the Boxster–which made no sense since the Boxster is as base as a Porsche can get, while still being good.  Instead, execs are fully promoting the visual monstrosity known as the Panamera and insisting enthusiasts ignore the unfavorable financial news which will probably kill CEO Wendelin Wiedeking’s career.

When asked about the decision to not pursue any new sports car development, Porsche USA rep Jan Fuckelbach went into a anti-Semitic tirade, blaming Stuttgart’s misfortune on “them Jews” and calling for the industry’s purification from “corrupting elements.”

Just kidding–Fuckelback is just some homeless guy we found walking by the Porsche dealership at Figueroa in Downtown.

So it seems Porsche’s CEO, Wendelin Wiedeking, is furious that people within his company are leaking info about its dire financial situation.  It wasn’t long ago that Porsche was the most profitable enterprise in the business.  Now that’s over, and Wiedeking is begging the German treasury to provide billions in emergency cash to save his company from bankruptcy.

All this chaos in just a few months.  What a man.

I’m not going to hide it: I think Wiedeking is the worst auto exec still employed.  This is a guy who took a wealthy and promising concern, and got it screwed harder than Kim Kardashian in the Saints’ locker room.  Plenty of folks want to give Robert Nardelli of Chrysler that title, but Nardelli did nothing more than hurt an already broken company.

I like to point to the Panamera as a symbol of all that’s wrong with Wiedeking and Porsche’s whored identity.  What is Porsche today?  A fashion statement.  It’s a brand Jerry Seinfeld markets.  It’s a line of apparel.  It’s an overpriced and overweight Volkswagen SUV.  It’s a sedan that’s uglier than Joy Behar at a nude shoot.  The tragic thing is that I’d rather get into Behar than the sedan.

Some of that is unfair.  The Cayenne was a key reason why Porsche prospered over the past decade, and it is a good SUV–just not a good Porsche.  Porsche’s own status has been somewhat wounded since it became a yuppie icon in the 1980s.  I also have to give Porsche Design its dues: those varsity jackets are pretty damn fine.

That is beside the point.  Porsche is billions in debt, it’s probably going to be annexed by a bigger company, and it’s set to win the dubious honor of having the ugliest machine on wheels since the Aztek.  I don’t think even a Cayman Turbo could redeem this once-great marque in the eyes of true enthusiasts.  Frankly, I don’t care kind of flattering words Jay Leno or Jeremy Clarkson have for Panamera.  (If they do have them, that is.)

There’s only one rational thing that can be done to help remedy this: Sentence Wiedeking to death by impalement, with no chance for appeal.

We must let reason prevail.